safety net for the disabled

I had a stroke in 2008. Initially, I was completely pear lies on my right side. I had serious memory problems. Perhaps worst of all, I lost my ability to read. I could spell a word out loud, and I could recognize a word spelled out loud to me. However, the part of my brain that translates visual signals of letters written down and seen with the eyes into words in the brain was broken.

In the 2 1/2 years since my stroke, I have recovered partial use of my right arm, partial use of my right leg and some of my memory. I still cannot write a computer program like I once did, read a book, button a shirt, tie a shoe, or hundreds of other things that I used to do before my stroke. I used to fly Cessna Skyhawk airplanes. I will never fly again. I used to ride bicycles and motorbikes. I will never do that again. There are literally hundreds of activities that I used to do before my stroke which I will never again be able to perform.

I typed this blog post by dictating it into my computer. I read by using a program called natural reader which reads the words from my computer screen.

When I had my stroke, I lost everything. I lost my income, my car, my house and even my wife left me when I could no longer provide.

It took me nearly a year, not working, not getting paid, to file for and receive my Social Security benefits, benefits for which I paid in every month. When I was not able to work I lost my health care. It was two years until I was eligible for Medicare.

Tell me, is it fair for the federal government to balance the budget on the backs of people like me? Is it fair to balance the federal budget on the backs of people who worked, paid taxes, and were contributors to society four or 30 years? I started paying taxes when I was 15 years old and became disabled at 54. I'm worried of our viability to support my self. I'm worried about my ability just to live on my Social Security. I was young. I started a business. I put every penny of my savings, including funds for retirement, into that business. When I had my stroke, I lost it all. Social Security is all I have left.

I paid in. I should continue to get my benefits. I prefer to work. I turned down my disability benefits the first time I was told I was eligible, in hopes of getting a job. The Department of vocational rehabilitation told me I was crazy. They told me that I wasn't thinking straight because of the damage to my brain. I'm glad they convinced me.

I don't want to be where I am... but I am... and I paid and to the Social Security system, and expect, in my disability, to get back what I received.